Right now it's mommies that are driving me insane.
Here's the thing. I had HUT and I had drugs when I did so. I gave birth in a hospital, not a birthing center. I loved my gyno and didn't have a doula. We use Pampers, not cloth. I breastfed for the first six months, but now we're on formula for the remaining six. When I'm super tired? Sometimes Mickey Mouse on the Disney Channel helps me keep my sanity.
I don't get all judgmental on those who opt to do it differently. SO STOP JUDGING THE WAY I HAVE CHOSEN TO DO IT.
You are not better because of your choices - they are just what you decided to do.
My child was not "loopy" when he was born because of my epidural. He was pretty with it, that kid.
I wish that I had the patience, stomach, and organization to cloth diaper, but I just don't. I admire those mommies who do, but I'm not going to keep feeling bad because I don't. Not to mention that this outrageous diaper bill that everyone keeps talking about? We pay $35 every six weeks for diapers (thank you, Amazon Mom) so it's really not breaking our bank.
My gynecologist is a family friend and I wouldn't have trusted anyone more to bring him into this world. And the hospital where we had HUT was absolutely amazing. Period.
I breastfed and absolutely adored it. It was hard at first, but once it got going it was amazing. I miss those times even now, but we naturally weaned and formula was just what we had to do. I think every woman should try to breastfeed, but if they don't, that's ok too. It's their choice.
WOMEN - stop being so damn judgmental. You do what you have to do and that's it. Our kids are all healthy, they are loads of fun (when they aren't teething), and they bring the biggest happiness to our lives (most of the time). Can't we all stop being so damn judgy and just support each other? Because as wonderful and amazing as parenthood is? It's really f-ing hard sometimes. And a shoulder to lean on, an ear to vent to, would be nice.
Stepping off the soapbox now.
LOL. You go girl. :) xo
ReplyAMEN. I know I'm not a mom, so I'm generally told to mind my own when I have an opinion about the judgmental mommies situation, but I agree 100%. I think this can easily be applied to everything in life, every choice, etc. Do what works for YOU and your family,and unless someone really IS doing something dangerous to their kid (and no, plastic diapers and tv watching does NOT count as dangerous), then don't worry about it! I've never understood the competition, judgment, and general cattiness that seems to exist in modern mommyhood circles. Nope, I don't have kids. But one of the things that makes motherhood sound less than pleasant to me? All of this. I'm just glad someone said it.
ReplyI was waiting on this post! And you are so right. Everyone has different opinions on parenting and you are doing what is best and right for your family. I get unwelcome advise all the time, but just don't say much so it slows the conversation or I can switch the subject. Sorry that you are having to put up with ignorant people that think they know what is best for your family. How can they?!
ReplyOk, I completely understand where you're coming from and all I can do is laugh because I AGREE with you SO completely. And I'm not a mom yet. But holy cow, there are so many ways to do something, why on earth does someone presume that their way is best? Your son is happy, healthy and is adorable. Clearly you're doing a great job :)
ReplyMy baby is due on Thanksgiving day and I'm already running into these issues! We are making the choices we are making because it is what works for us...that's all that should matter!!
ReplyAs someone who had a medicated childbirth (epidural + pitocin), uses disposable diapers, formula-feeds, lets her baby watch TV once in a while, and isn't afraid to use meds to help her kid with teething, I completely, 100% agree with what you wrote. Big kudos to you!
ReplyP.S. — I think you mentioned that you've been giving HUT tylenol to help with teething? Now that he's over 6 months, have you considered ibuprofen? Because as soon as we got the OK from the pediatrician, we started to use ibuprofen instead because it helps with inflammation as well as the pain, and Claire seemed to take to it better than tylenol. But whatever you decide, good luck! Teething is a b*tch and I almost envy those moms whose kids are born with teeth!
You shouldve ended the post by telling the haters to fuck off.... then they could judge you for cussing. :-) screw em, you are doing a good job!I had an epidural, a c section, and i didnt breastfeed.... man my daughter wont make it! jk
ReplyHa, oh Stephanie, I'm sorry! It sucks, I'm not a mom but I feel like people judge you for everything and I know it only gets worse once you have kids. I am not looking forward to that part of things.
ReplySo agree with this post (and I'm getting a lot of sh!t for things I'm doing the opposite of you for-- no matter what you do, people will give you h3ll for it). We all have valid reasons for deciding to do what we do... so everyone should just back off because it's not their decision! ;-)
ReplyI tried a med-free birth and ended up with an epi after stalling out at 5cm and getting the pitocin order. Thank goodness I did because my uterus inverted and came out with the placenta!!!! If I hadn't had that epi, I would have been in emergency surgery, which I was trying to avoid as much as possible. I'm 32 wks with my 2nd and will get another epi after 5cm again JIC we have another issue. I breastfed for 9 mo, but then my daughter wanted nothing to do with it unless it was the morning. So we did formula and I bf'd in the morning and pumped once at night until I got sick of doing that and eventually she didn't want to nurse in the morning anymore. Do I think that makes me better than mom's who formula feed - hell no! We use disposables and my 18mo old still takes a nuk in her crib for naps and nighttime. We watch Elmo daily and once in a while I feed the girl a hot dog - I guess that makes me a bad mommy according to some ladies, but I know that I'm the best mommy for her. She's healthy, happy and learning new things like crazy. The mommy stuff stinks - we're so mean and it's a bummer because when you stay at home it makes you wish for other mommy connections. I know I've personally shied away from trying to find mommy friends because I don't want to be judged. We're doing an ECFE class this fall and I'm nervous about whether it will be a bunch of judge-y moms discussing how advanced their children are for their age.
ReplyWhoot whoot. You are kicking ass in the Mommy department, so just keep up the hard work!! And I hope that the little guy gets through teething soon- like tomorrow.
ReplyNatural birthing, breastfeeding, cloth diapering momma here... and just for the record I get plenty of judgment/comments/crap too! As soon as you get pregnant there are so many people just dying to tell you YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG. Eff off I say :)
ReplyThat's my girl ;)
ReplyWhat What! Amen, Sista! Right? We all know how hard mommy decisions can be and nobody wants to be judged. So, since we all agree, can we really stop judging now?...Prolly not. Just do what's right for you and forget those judgy b*tches!
ReplyI'm getting comments about breastfeeding and cloth diapering! There's always someone to judge regardless of what you do. Only you know what's best for your child. (good luck with teething, not looking forward to that)
ReplyBlah, I'm sorry that you're feeling judged. It's funny though... because I'm a soon-to-be mom and we've decided that we want to *try* cloth diapering. I say try because I could hate it, who knows?! And I find myself embarrassed to tell people because I'm afraid of being judged too. I'm totally not doing it to be "better" than anyone and I have no problem with those who decide not to... hello! I realize that it's a lot of work! I've told some family and their immediate reaction was not at all positive. So it does work both ways. :) Judgmental people are always going to find something to preach about. Hang in there!
ReplyLOVE this!
Reply